Father, I sat beside your bed that day
a chance that I might somehow say something to make you proud of me something which would set me free of bonds I thought were mine that somehow I had set in time not knowing how or why I’d done some crime and rejected by the family tree why did you all do this to me why did you allow this to happen to me and you looked up at me that day and shook my hand off from the clasp that I had set while held your hand in mine and yet you pushed it aside a part of me had already died you could not kill more there was nothing left in store you’d all taken it over the years there simply were no more tears that I was able or cared to shed even though I knew you soon would be dead you never once acknowledged me as being worthy you all allowed me to feel so God damned dirty and the final words you said to me were set in concrete so I could never ever forget “I’m glad you are the way you are.” No, you knew me not, you were always too far from me to know what I was or was to be the person who sat and tried to hold your hand you could not see not you, nor your God damned sister, mother, father could never see “I’m glad you are the way you are.” How high did you set the God damned bar? A child born of thy seed to thee? I now demand you set me free. You never ever knew me. No, my mind is changed and this day I choose to set myself free Free from the God damned family tree from from it and free from thee. Copyright Gordon Kuhn 2010 |
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