The Mexican Maid.

The Mexican Maid

The Mexican Maid asked For a Pay Increase

The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. The conversation went like this:

She asked:”Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase??”

 Maria:”Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I want an increase.  The first is that I iron better than you.”

Wife:”Who said you iron better than me?”

Maria:”Your husband said so.”


Maria:”The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.”

Wife:”Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?”

Maria: “Your husband did.”


Maria:”My third reason is that I am a better lover than you.”

Wife, really furious now, “Did my husband say that as well?”

Maria: “No Señora…the gardener did.”

Wife: “So how much do you want?”

I Wonder.

My wife and I had dinner with a friend and his wife tonight and the converstation slipped and slid into politics. My friend, David, said that the only way to straighten out this country is to move away from Big Brother providing us with rules and regulations for everything under the sun. Get rid of licensing, abolish all building codes, seat belt laws, and everything else that restricts and/or provides benefits for some while restricting others. He continued to say it won’t happen, that our society is too geared to being protected, provided with guarantees and other benefits and so no one is going to want “change” to occur which would get government out of our face. The problem is this: government is sexually attracted to itself. In other words, government is a self-breeding organism which will eventually overpower this nation and whoever is the leader then become a dictator. Our society is being dumbed down by our leaders and by our media.

Aunt Linda

A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type stuff, spilled milk and pennies saved.Finally only Ernie was left. ‘Ernie, do you have a story to share?’ ‘Yes ma’am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Linda. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last enemy with her bare hands.’ ‘Good Heavens’ said the horrified teacher. ‘What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?’ ‘Stay the hell away from Aunt Linda when she’s drinking.