THOUGHTS OF A POET IN THE RAIN

.

It’s like a permanent lumbar support system. By the way, how do you even get hair to cling/mold/bind/form/shape into that? I’m just asking so that I don’t accidentally do it.

Much to my, and I’m sure everyone else’s, surprise we have a challenger to the Old lady from 8 Crazy Nights look alike also, full disclosure I’m a little frightened.

I have a feeling her kids are always on their best behavior. I guess that’s what happens when you have a professional spanker for a mother.

Don’t you hate it when you confuse your washing machine and your kids Spiral Splatter Creations Kit? I know I do.

OH SNAP! That’s how Willy the Pimp does black and white son! You fake pimps better come correct next time you wanna challenge the legend.

Ohhh, if only your parents were given that advice.

Okay, I know the shirt has strings, and I’m no Louis Vuitton, but I’m pretty sure those strings weren’t designed to hang on for dear life.

Back in my day, we didn’t have these fancy Child Labor laws. You already picked up as much dirt and dust off of the floor with your feet as you could, so it’s time to start the full body sweep now boy.

C’mon cross-dressers! If you are going to wear clothing of the opposite sex, at least give it your best effort. I mean, you obviously took the time to pick out that cute little skirt, but then BAM you ruin it with those beat up old black sneakers. I never thought I’d say this, but Sir, go put on some heels!

So, what do you do when you want to wear a different colored shirt?

Hello Kitty, goodbye dignity.

Did you look at that shirt before you put it on and honestly think it would fit, or did you put it on in 1997 when it did fit and just decided you were set for life?

All you get is a peek.. You gotta work for it if you wanna see more! Vavoom!

You know, I always had a sneaking suspicion Justin Timberlake was taking credit for someone else’s work.

The years may come and go, but styling and profiling never change.

A one piece thong and jorts. Just saying it out loud sounds awful.

Do you have any idea how tiring it can be putting on purple sweatpants like this? Im going to take a nap right now just from thinking about it.

For my own sanity, I have to assume that she is shoplifting pork roasts in her shirt. Simply because there is no possible way those are what you think they are. They can’t be, I refuse to believe it. Don’t try to reason with me.

I guarantee that nobody in the country HAS ever, CAN ever, or WILL ever rock out as hard as these two in Wal-Mart. End of story.

Not quite sure what all is going on here, but I can tell you this, none of its good.

Let’s all take a minute to appreciate the irony of jamming the healthy choice down the back of your ass.

I like talking to her because she always seems so surprised and interested in what I’m saying. That, and because she kinda looks like the old lady in Adam Sandlers Eight Crazy Nights.

Now go on! Get up there and get me my damn Fanta!

Well if the Cowboys want to call themselves America s Team, they need to have a true American cheerleader. I think we have found her.

You kidding me? Honestly, are you kidding me? I mean really, you couldn’t find pink gloves? The lack of effort is noted.

No need to wrap up that bologna, I’ll just put it in my trash bag shirt.