I have a roaming mind. It wanders frequently to the past. It visits places where, perhaps, it shouldn’t; but it does. Guilt is an easy thing I’ve learned I can conjure. I can beat myself up about the same event, word spoken, action taken or not taken, over and over again. I am extremely adept at tearing myself up. My memory is excellent! How well I am entrenched in dangerous thoughts. Yes. dangerous thoughts.
They are dangerous because they steal time from me. They cause me to doubt myself, my abilities, my promise for the future; and they prevent my acknowledging forgiveness by others for past offenses. Why do I do these things to myself? I have no bloody idea. But, I know for a fact that I am not alone in the world! Unless you are a sociopath you to have dark thoughts of past events that lie about causing mischief too.
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