Went to a Bass Pro Shop today. Never had been before. As I walked in I hear myself say, “Holy Crap. I must be almost in Heaven!” I say, almost, as I knew I was still alive. I also know and suspect that with my track record the chances of me getting into heaven are most restricted. 

Everything was just cozy until Alfonso stepped out with a big smile to stop my path of wonder. 

“Hi!” he said brightly. “Do you know why I stopped you?”

“No,” I thought, and shook my head, but was certain I knew the reason as he was standing next to a booth with 6 other “salespeople” all with vampire like grins. 

“Because you have an earring in your ear and that means you must be cool.”


“Yeah, like me,” he went on. “Look, I have two.”

“Uh huh, and they are bigger than mine.”

“Yeah, bigger, and so where do you come from?”



“Really,,,(time to do the soft shoe reversal on Alfonso)” And where do you come from?”

“Uh, here. So are you on vacation.”

“Yep. How about you? Are you on vacation?” I saw his eyes start to wobble.

“No, mmm, I’m working.” And so we went a few more round until I was able to dislodge myself. I believe this is a form of hypnosis. It works everytime. When they ask you a question, answer and then hit them with the same question right back. 


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