STANDOFF excerpt 8.28.19

Crushed Cigarettes Left on the Floor

I met her years back in a local tavern

A bar, a pub, a gin spot, liquor room

And she followed me home without speaking

Without asking, without knowing who she was or

From where she had come from or going to

Her arm draped in mine holding

A cold six pack of beer in a paper sack

Her black knee length skirt bouncing there

While high heels clicked

And left a trail of music as we walked

Then she slipped past as I opened my apartment door

Not speaking, just looking, with a wink

And made her way into the stillness of the room

And came in visit to my bed

Where we sang songs of love for hours long

Until there was no more strength in us to carry on

And we drank the beer then gone warm

From the six pack left in my dead fridge

And lit a cigarette in the dark

A cloud of smoke swirled our heads

Glowed lightly from the light of the moon

In the morning she was gone

And I was left so all alone, so alone

With the scent she left behind slightly hanging in the air

The sheets left were ruffled and wet with sweat

With empty beer cans on the floor by the bed

Where a half smoked cigarette lay crushed upon the floor

She became just a memory then for months to a year

Until she chose to visit once again

She followed without speaking and slipped past me in the hallway

Going in the open apartment door

Where she slipped into my bed in the dark

And nestled with her head upon my neck

We loved each other like it was the day before the end

Then she was gone again in the morning light

Sheets were ruffled and wet with sweat

Empty beer cans beside the bed

Near a half-smoked cigarette that lay crushed upon the floor

Left me with there with the coming of the day and just a memory of her scent

She came and went at times with my not knowing if she would ever come again

While our hearts raced and melted together in the room without any air

With a window wide open to let any breeze in to cool our naked bodies lying there

The moon peeking in at two lovers adrift in moments of sexual wonder

And in the morning, there would be empty beer cans lying on the floor

Near a bed empty without her lying there

While a still smoldering cigarette lay crushed upon the floor

Left me empty somehow with just a memory of her scent.

Where did the year go?

Another year moving into history. Seems strange. I am still in January.

Well, for Jan and I it has been an up and down year with moving away and then moving back when we discovered that “friends” weren’t friends and that the VA doesn’t have the medical facilities in Georgia that we thought they had.

So, here we are back in Florida with all of our friends and it is wonderful. The only sad thing is that my service dog Tread has a fungus in his hip and tail bone. No body knows how it got there and it is an expensive and long fight to save his life. We now have gone past $5,000 in expenses and have 5 months more of a fight to go. We do have wonderful help from our Vet and the Vets at the University of Georgia School of Veterinary Science. We are also fortunate in that we have medical insurance on him and that has reduced our cost significantly. BUT travel and motel rooms are not covered as is part of the medical. However, we are fortunate that we do have a lot covered and are very grateful for the folks at Healthy Paws.

I have a newsletter at Constant Contact and if any of you wish to be a subscriber just send me you email to

In the meantime I am trying to find a literary agent for my true crime book: Nightmare in Terra Ceia.

I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and I hope a wonderful New Year.

Blessings! Gordon Kuhn

A Long Time Ago in the Great Faraway

It was a long time ago in the great faraway
When I came to the understanding that I could no longer stay
We looked the other way as I stepped out from her front door
Harsh words spoken, then silence, nothing left to say, so I guess we settled the score
The tale had been said, actions set, and there was nothing more
We turned away, not wanting our eyes to meet again on that terribly sad night
When anger made us say things that later didn’t seem so right
Emptiness then lay where once love for each other had been so tight
But we said our all — then silence fell — and we knew there was nothing more
So we looked the other way as I stepped out from her front door
The porch light turned dark behind me as I walked alone in the rain
To where my car sat, my anger melting — and then I began to feel the numbing pain
The key in the ignition, the engine hesitated, coughed, stumbled, and then sudden died
And I sat alone in the long faraway and in that sad silence, I softly cried. 9/1/18

The Never Meeting of Lovers

The Never Meeting of Lovers

I never met you in the past
I’ll not meet you in the future
I won’t meet you today
Such is life; such is the nature of our souls
But we can sing together
We can sing about our love
If we ever meet and should casually hold hands
While remembering that we had one day met
And hope the memory of meeting one day in the future
Will forever last in song, one written by you and me
Written in the wonder of meeting
As you in my bed would be offered a gentle greeting
While the world outside our door will swing and sway
To the sound of our song written just today
And I’ll sing a song I wrote just for you
While we dance our way into the memory of today
As your holding my hand in yours will surely nurture
My desire for closeness and kisses that will forever in memory stay
And we can sing together of a sweet and gentle love
I never met you in the past
I’ll not meet you in the future
We’ll not meet today
But how can I ever forget you or this song
Somehow we’ll go on as I alone will stay
In my memory of you in our fleet meeting
Such is life; such is the nature of our souls.

Copyright 5.17.18 Gordon Kuhn, All rights

Retouch: I Recall at 2 AM

Retouch: I Recall.

It’s two o’clock in the morning
And I recall her lying nearby me
In the dark sweating there from our lovemaking
We came together in the long ago
Two lonely bar drunk new best friends
In a town so very far from here
It’s two o’clock in the morning
And I can smell her hair even now with its light perfume
As it was crushed up by my face
Curls so wet, soft and fragrant in the nighttime air
As she drew close in the dim light from a street light
At the corner where rain spattered on the cracked concrete
By the post near the ruts in the road
And the trash lying in the gutter nearby
A soft contented purr coming from deep within her
And we laid there sweating in the dark
Not knowing each other and yet in some way we did
Someway we were kin from mothers never met
Aglow from lovemaking in the middle of the night
And outside we could hear the cars on the rain-swept street
There was no air conditioning in that apartment
One bedroom, a kitchen, and old couch in the front room
And we never knew what we’d find in the hall in the morning
When we opened the door to the world
And we’d step over some drunk lost on his way home
But it’s just two o’clock in the morning
And we hear the stumbling, cursing coming from down the hall
As someone tries a key in the wrong door and then noisily slips to the floor
Too drunk to walk further and sleep claims another lost soul
And I recall the sweetness of her lying nearby
In the dark sweating and so tired we were wrapped together
Exhausted from our lovemaking with only the moon looking on
Peaking in from the window with the cracked glass and weathered frame
And the floor near the bed beneath the open window was wet from the rain
And the moon shining into the room at 2 o’clock in the morning
Was the only witness to our love as we lay there together in the moonlit dark
Too tired to talk, too tired to sleep, and out of beer
A crushed cigarette pack lying in the corner near an empty can
But I recall how we loved that night
And then parted as friends
Each going our separate ways
But I recall that night — I wonder, does she? — Wherever she is?
Does she ever recall at two o’clock in the morning how we loved
How we loved thru that thunder and lightning packed summer storm
And we laid in our passion covered with sweat and out of beer gone hot
As the refrigerator in that apartment didn’t work
But it didn’t matter, not in the passion we shared
And the beer was gone and the cigarette pack was empty on the floor
Bed sheets pulled free and lying in a heap about us
Our bodies naked and gleaming with the wet of love making
In the moonlit dark of night with a street light shining lightly in
Does she recall?
It was two o’clock in the morning and I loved her
Whoever she was — sadly I don’t recall her name.

Copyright Gordon Kuhn

Clouds in your Eyes & Random Thoughts 0821/8.5.17

Clouds in Your Eyes

by Gordon Kuhn Copyright 8.5.17 all rights reserved

I see clouds in your eyes, clouds in your eyes
Clouds where none should ever be
Like murky cream in your cold cup of coffee there
I see clouds in your eyes, clouds in your eyes
Clouds that should never be there
And I think there is even a tear, a small tear hiding there
There where none should also never be.

It was just a chance thing meeting up with you
Years back at a truck stop late one rainy night
No reason for that to ever happen, never
Unplanned event and unplanned conversation
Unless fate was there with me and you
For truly you showed up out of the blue
And sat and told me lies while you drank coffee with me
Just like we used to do, like we used to do
And sat and told me lies while we drank cold coffee together
Just like we used to do when we smiled at each other
And nowhere did I think I’d ever again see that smile
That smile that was also so quick and free.

But I see clouds in your eyes, clouds there in your eyes
The same as when a friend once set you free
But that was a long time back to then
When life had set us all in a tragic spin
And you fell from a relationship that brought tears to your eyes
And I hoped that none would ever again be there for anyone to see

I know you are with another
A friend who was once like a brother
But no where in the world did I ever expect
to have our friendship end in pure neglect

But I see the clouds in your eyes
Where none should ever be
I see clouds in your eyes
And I think I see a tear
Where none should also never be
In a truck stop so very long ago

And I would have stood and hugged you long and hard
But the distance between us more that I could reach past
And so I just let it be with a handshake and a “I gotta go.”
So I will go and let the past be the past and hope the feeling inside will last
But there were clouds in your eyes, clouds in you eyes
And a very tiny tear.



She had blue eyes,

Vulnerable, blue eyes

And they held him in their grasp

Gentleness  lived there so much he had to gasp

And she never spoke; she never once spoke

Yet her eyes could easily jokingly poke

And raise the issue of man and woman

As the world floated past the two who were human

As they lay in a grassy field, in a soft and wavy grassy field

Their hands from the sun wide-open eyes did shield

And his protected hers so deep they were and so blue

As they lay in peace and in love so true.

She had blue eyes, deep, soft blue eyes

Vulnerable blue eyes.

Copyright 2/3/2015 Gordon Kuhn

Poem from Standoff: Bare

STANDOFF  is a book of poems that I will be publishing soon. This poem is one of them: BARE. I simply decided that I would post this one for the time being. I hold the copyright on this. 


Flesh laid back,


Raw, no cover to protect

From salt thrown upon there where the whip struck

Beneath the layer thin and thick

Atop with matted hair that hides

Emotions deep run and amid course shall stall

As the owner fails to know the path laid out

Laid out, but not in common diagram of visual plane

Leaving the direction needles spinning mindless there

Nor can one tell or master the storms drifting path

Should path be there hiding beneath a lacquer veneer while

The stronger weather yet to come as emotions gather

As they gather well before the bow that dips deep

So very deep, and then sliding down the hill so steep

Deep down, deep down, falling into the trough beneath emotions towers

Towers without sight of top, nor bottom have

Crashing then they upon decks wet awash with memories tossed

As the pilot fights to stay the line invisible before them

And fails to see the coming of the loss of light

As clouds of thought weigh down the saddened soul

While deck and hold covers fail to stop the rushing waters in

The ship stalls, shudders, shatters from within, rolls, and sinks beneath a wall of tears.

10/3/2016 Copyright GORDON KUHN ass rights reserved.

I wish I could play a harmonica.

I wish I knew how to play a harmonica. For that would be grand to sit on my porch and let the sound slip out towards the sky. I wish I knew how to play a violin, for that would be awesome as I love the sound of such. And then there is the guitar. What a wonderful song it can sing. At last I come to the piano. How fantastic a sound like a band singing all to itself with ups and downs of emotions that can only be reached and touched by a soul inflamed with the love of music. I’ve bought a dozen or so of those cheap harmonicas only to throw them out in time. Oh how I wish I could play the harmonica but its like the flute I have that lies dusty on the shelf and only is picked up when I wish to feel so foolish as to try.

The Twentieth Anniversary.

Yesterday, August 3rd, was Jan and my 20th Anniversary. I love her so much. We went out and ate dinner and relived the memories of our first night together as a married couple.  Those memories always bring smiles from the actual marriage in a small chapel (just she and I, the minister and his wife) with a cow bell that they range from the steeple to announce our wedding. Photos, flowers, all dressed up. We didn’t tell anyone because we didn’t want to have anyone go out and buy gifts and things as we had our own households and didn’t need anything. Unfortunately, we made a lot of people angry at us because we eloped. Well, anyway, we rented a cabin with a hot tub. Our luck.. the cabin was haunted. Out on the side porch was a hottube. Jan and I had never used a hottub and thought it would be fun. We turned it on. It got hot. I almost broke the cover getting it off,……something about not crawling across the cover to unlatch it…heard a loud snap sound and crawled back off. My lady came out and tested the water….perfect. She jumped in and I went to get my swim suit on (we were very visible from the road you understand with woods behind us houses across the street and up and down the hillside). I went inside and changed and came back to jump into the tub but the sliding glass doors were closed; and before Jan could stop me I walked into them. The next thing I knew I was on my  back with a very sore forehead having bounced off the doors. I sat up and Jan was in the tub laughing. We both laughed. I was fine and it set up the night for hugs and a great memory of the day. That night I tried to sleep but was hounded all night long with things (remember I said the place was haunted) touching my face and arms that were uncovered from under the blankets. Jan said “I’m out of here” and went back to the first floor. We checked for flying bugs….none. Tried to get back to sleep and again the same things….something touching my face, neck, arms, and hands. We never found out what it was. Whenever I’d flip on the lights there was nothing visible that could be touching me or her. The next day, our one night rental over, we went into Gatlinburg and rented a non-haunted room. 20 years plus one day. I love my wife.